Get Up and Move On

To date this is my favorite song I have written. It's called Get Up and Move On. This is another story about the girl from Jump. So basically we are together. We act as if we are dating amd the whole nine yards. But for some reason she doesn't wanna make it official. She tells me she likes me flirts with me constantly and we both seem happy about it. I have a friend of mins who I tell everything, let's call her Ally. I tell Ally what's going on with me and the girl, She tells me she likes me etc. Ally goes and tells Brie what's going on and Brie gets really upset at the girl. I've decided to give the girl a name haha so I'm gonna call her Maddie. (maddie is girl whom I love). So Brie gets mad at maddie and I don't understand why. A couple months later I find out why. I come to think that maybe maddie and Brie are together, like in a relationship. I call maddie out on it and she tells me they have been a couple for 5 months. Hmm she's been telling me she likes me for 5 months....AH HA! she couldn't go out with me because she had a girl friend. Now I have nothing wrong with lesbians or bi-sexuals but when it comes down to it she's been leading me on for months. I got really pissed but I couldn't very well be uber pissed at maddie, I love her! Now I see why Brie was so pissed when she found out maddie liked me. She was two timing Brie! And neither brie nor I know what she was saying to one another so we became natural enemies. After I found out maddie is going out with Brie I decided to talk to her. I find out that maddie has been trying to lie to us both so she could have the best of both worlds. She made me hate Brie and Brie hate me in the hope that we would never talk about this and she would never get caught. At this point Brie and I are pissed.

A lot of drama happens and Maddie doesn't know what the hell to do. She continues to go back and forth between me and Brie which is hurting all parties involved. So I decide to take matters into my own hand. And what a mistake that was. I text Maddie telling her she's a bitch and I f**king hate her and she should never talk to me again. My intention was to have her hate me but that blew up in my face. She didn't hate me she was just pissed I would say such a thing. She said I can never not like you but I wish you didn't say that stuff. Man I have never cried so much in my life. I felt so bad for saying that stuff I cried myself to sleep. I just wanted her to be happy and I thought that if she hated me she could be happy with just Brie. I know that was a f**led up thing to do but I couldn't think. Of anything else l.
A while goes on and I have decided I'm done with Maddie. For 5 months I have been led on and I'm not top happy about that. i call Maddie I'm like "okay so you've lost me but you still have Brie. Don't lose her cause she's all you got now. Obviously being with me is not what you want so Stay with her. Just be happy." the next day I log onto AIM to see she had imed me about 20 times. The summary of those ims, I'm done with Brie and I know I've lied to you but I want you and only you. Me being an idiot take her back. She says Brie has controled her life for 5 months and now she's free. She also says she is going to tell her what's going on after she comes back from taking the SATs. I say to myself okay at the end of the day I'm gonna tell Brie what's going on because she deserves to know. That gives Maddie a soild 7 hours to tell her so things should b okay. 1 A.M. Rolls around and I tell Brie what's going on. She thnaks me for telling her and also says maddie is denying asking me out at that very second. But wait a second Maddie told me she was going to bed at 11? She lied to me again? And so Maddie freaks out at me and yells at me and breaks up with me. The next morning I wake up to ims saying and I quote "you never cared for me, the only reason you told Brie was to break us apart so you could have me for myself". Now I know you don't know me and this could all be bullshit but let me tell you something I care for Maddie more than I care about breathing. And for her to tell me I never cared man it was like a stake through the heart. That day she is really pissed while she is texting me and then all of a sudden she goes sorry I was in a bad state of mind take me back? Well trick me once shame on you trick me twice shame on me. I say no I can't do that. She then says well thanks now is when I find out who my true friends are and I'm glad to know you aren't one. Stake through the heart number two. So I say enough this has got to stop.

I tell her we need to meet face to face and stop texting about this. We go yo barnes n noble and we have a two hour discussion. Here's what comes out of it. Apperently Brie and Maddie are gonna break for a month. And Maddie and I aren't gonna date either during that time. She says she can't date anyone right now because she doesn't know what she wants. I'm like cool I'm good with that and we both leave happy.

A week goes by and ally comes and tells me Maddie and Brie are still together XD. More lies. I call Maddie out on it and she gets mad at me. I ask Brie about it and of course Maddie had set up some insurance. Maddie told Brie not to talk about their relationship to me. Maddie like always finds a way to blame me saying the situation changed and it's none of my buisness. Well at this point it kind of is.

I give up. I think that the only reason Maddie keeps me around is so she can say to herself she isn't a lesbian. O did I tell you she says she doesn't like girls? Yeah she likes to say to herself she is "normal" and she isn't gay or bi. Well that was the last straw. I have given up on her which is killing me on the inside.

I just wanted to explain this one part of the song. 11:11 is a time where if you make a wish and it's supposed to come true. Well during the 5 months when I was unaware of Brie I styaed up till 11:11 and wished I could make Maddie happy. Well I guess it doesn't really work.

Here are the lyrics to Get Up amd Move On

I fall down cause of you
This is never anything I wanted to do
This has gone on far to long
It's time to get up and move on. 

I know im better off
To lose these battles we have fought 
No more fighting about the truth
Hate to tell you but you've been caught. 

I fall to the floor
You've opened a door
Like a shadow in the sun
You've dissapeared and now I'm done

You say You love me
I am tired of this hopeless fight 
The feelings I cannot hide
You will always be all I think of at night

Your the wish I make at 11:11 
Your very smile is a glimpse of heaven
You're the beat of my heart
But I can't get that beat to start
Just get up and move on 

I die a little cause of you 
Nothing to move me nothing new
Can you not tell me you feel this too?
It's time I woke up and got a clue.
  
It's time to get up and move on. 
I fall down cause of you
This is never anything I wanted to do
This has gone on far to long

I can take the sun going dark
There are days I can't breathe
None of this is because of you
I got to get up, move on and leave. 


So now I'll lie in my bed
I am tired of this hopeless fight 
Thoughts of you inside my head
You will always be all I think of at night 

Your the wish I make at 11:11 
Your very smile is a glimpse of heaven
You're the beat of my heart
But I can't get that beat to start
Just get up and move on 

Jump

Jump is a sing that I got from my most recent rollarcoaster ride with a girl friend. To this day I am in love with this girl. I dint know what it is about her but something she does or something he is just makes me love her. Well the story starts about a year ago when I first started liking her. She was dating this guy and she had a lot if trouble with it. Because she was one of my best friends I wanted to help her. I put my feeling for her aside and tried to help her with her relationhip. I wanted her to break up with him so bad so I could have a chance but I didn't think that's what he wanted so I kept quiet. I listened to what she had to say and I gave her my thoughts on what she should do. Stupidly I wasn't bias in this and tried to ind out what she wanted. Listening to her just made me fall harder for her.

Summer time. I hadn't talked to her in a couple weeks I'm lazy in the summer. Some stuff had happened like I met a girl at work who I kind of liked and she liked me. So we went on a couple dates and hooked up once (ick lol). Since the other girl was my best friend when I saw her during an extra course you can take durin the summer I told her about her. At this point she was single but at the same time I had given up ever being with her. The day after I tell her about rachel (the girl from work) her x boyfriend comes to pick her up from summer school (sounds bad but It is a summer health course one that isn't worth taking during the year). That day she gets back together with him. That night I'm talking to her and I decided to tell her how I feel. I'm thinking what the hell she's back with him and I have a girl so I'll just tell her I like her. So I tell her that I've liked her a long time but I'm really happy she's back with her boyfriend and I hope he males her happy. And then the first of the big bomb drops. The only reason she asked her x out again was because she thought I didn't like her. Suprised I didn't know what to say. We talked about it for a while and came to the conclussion that it's best if she stays with her x but now current boyfriend because it's nit fair to him to be used like that. I didn't think that if she liked me she should go into a relationship in the first place. I was just dating but nothing official (I realize that doesn't make it right and I still feel bad for dating Rachel). So I had her in my grasps but I let her go.

The school year. We are both single and we are aware of each others feelings. So I do what any normal boy would do and I ask her out. The catch I dated her friend a while back not for a long time though. When we start dating I find out her friend had no idea what was going on. I didn't think that was right so I told her she should tell her friend so her friend wouldn't be pissed. The next day we break up. Her friend was pissssedddd. So we came to the conclussion that it was in our best interests that we don't date for a while. I had asked her out second period on day in school, we broke up second period the next. w00t exactly one day.

This girl is one who does not like to displease other people. She doesn't like to make other people upset. And the thought of her dating me upset her friends. I'm not a bad guy but they were pissed I had dated her friend. So she didn't know what to do. She told me she loved me but she didn't know what to do. There was one friend in particular, let's call her Brie for now, that was really against it. And Brie was her best friend but she was so pissed and defensive about her (for reasons I will share later). We had this long phone call about what we should do and I told her if she wanted to be with me she should just forget everything else and just jump.

A lit has happened since then but I looked back at this situation and decided to write a song about it. And I named it jump

Wait a moment wait right there
Look at me as I look at you
Feel the way you make me feel
Take the jump you've never taken before.

Can you promise me you'll never leave?
Can you promise me you'll be mine?
Never mind the things around
Take my hand and jump

Never in life have there been someone like you
You are there in everything that I do
Knowing you are there to catch me when i fall
Anything you want I'll give it my all


Wait a moment, wait right there
Let me tell you how much I care
Fell the way you make me feel
When I'm with you I know it's real.

Where ever you are and what ever you do
I want you to know my heart is with you
I know right now that we're apart
But it's been the same since the start
All you have to do is jump

Need a Name

Need a Name was the first song I ever wrote that meant anything. It's about a girl I was dating who believed I was going to break up with her to participate in a threesome. Yeah ever guys dream right? It's my dream too I won't lie but I didn't want to mess things up with my girlfriend so I said no. I really liked this girl, we had dated for about 4 months gone into the city together where I was her first kiss and our relationship was really romantic. She knew that I really wasn't one that liked the hooking up and the sex. I'd much rather talk and get to know a person. In fact I find the whole physical aspect of a relationship disgusting. My mouth is for eating not to touch another mouth, my tounge is for tasting, not for wrestling with another tounge, and my Penis is for peeing, not meant to be sucked on. My point is she knew I wouldn't break up with her for sex but she believed the rumor that I was gonna break up with her for a threesome. Let me tell you it hurt a lot. Prior to our dating we were like best friends and I thought she knew who I was but she didn't know me at all XD. After she broke up with me over a rumor she stopped talking to me all together it hurt sooooo much. So I wrote Need a Name. The name story is kind of interesting. I needed a name for the song so I asked my friend through am email what I should name it. The subject of the email was need a name and he was like why don't you use that. I figured what the hell and I did just that.

So here are the lyrics of Need A Name

Staring at the past, hoping for a future
The present is cold and silent
The breath leaves my body tonight

I didn't want to go but I was asked to stay
Escaping words is impossible
The only thing I had was trust
But trust did not want me
I knew that this day would come but not like this, without anything

To feel myself fade away, to hear you walk away
giving anything and everything to you, but it has never been enough
To feel myself fade away, to hear you walk away away
And I see the false words, spread the gap I worked so hard to close

Staring at the past hoping for a future
The present is cold and silent
The breath leaves my body tonight

When time ends what happened here will matter none
We will be replaced but why not leave together
Who know what lies beyond the words and where they will lead us
But how could you have trusted them?

To feel myself fade away, to hear you walk away
giving anything and everything to you, but it has never been enough
To feel myself fade away, to hear you walk away
And I see the false words, spread the gap I worked so hard to close

Staring at the past, hoping for a future
The present is cold and silent
Your belief in me has faded.

Disappointment and sorrow embedded in my heart
Regret is now what makes me
Who I am and what I will always be
Between us there’s only broken silence
I lost a friend to words tonight

Regretting the past, looking towards the future
The present is now the past
The breath left my body today

The words have silenced me
I'm sorry they blinded you [x2]

Here I'll stay within the lies
slipping into darkness never to return
there are no words to be said, I have no breath to take

To feel myself fade away, to hear you walk away
giving anything and everything to you, but it has never been enough
To feel myself fade away, to hear you walk away
and the false words finally pulled us apart

Hello :)

Hello Blogging World!
I just basically wanted to introduce myself. I'm gonna go by the alias Asian Song Writer Because that's what my blog is gonna be about. The songs I write. The reason I write songs is because my life gets really screwed up sometimes and I can't do anything about it. I used to play varsity football but several concussions has caused me to stop. Football was my Doctor Phil. When I needed to get something off my chest I would play football. When I was depressed I would play football. When I was mad I would play football. So with my concussions a void was left in my life. I have spent two years trying to fill that void, I've tried everything from girls to lifting but nothing helps me. So I decided to write how I feel down.

My love life is the main thing I write about because it is so screwed up haha. But that is for future blogs. These sings I write really help me mentally and I just thought I'd let others see it. If you like say so and if you hate them say so. I don't mind. But I do hope you enjoy the songs.

Well that's all for now. Hope to hear your feedback and such :)

A.S.W.